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How is the Alleged Use of Chemical Weapons by Ukraine like the Astronaut in The Lego Movie?

Russia claims that Ukrainian is using chemical weapons, but then why aren't soldiers in MOPP?
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The video above was originally posted by Twitter user @PeImeniPusha.

I’ve covered Russian propaganda about chemical weapons before in previous posts.

There’s a few reasons why Ukraine would not use chemical weapons namely:

  • They are hard to manufacture, transport and load safely and any resources spent on a chemical weapon would mean fewer resources spent on manufacturing other weapons.

  • Chemical weapons are not that useful on the defense - and only have limited tactical use on the offense. Offensive use would normally be limited to a quickly dissipating non-persistent nerve agent to force the defender into a cumbersome chemical protective posture while your troops arrive unprotected to fight just as the chemical weapon dissipates. This gives a significant advantage to the attacker.

  • Any use of chemical weapons by Ukraine would be instantly condemned by the west and Ukraine would lose a significant source of munitions and funding.

So why does this keep coming up like in the video above? Well, most people don’t know that much about chemical weapons outside of watching movies like The Rock.

This movie famously described the agent in question a VX gas (technically it’s a viscus liquid like honey), but used a very theatrical method of action of a blister agent.

This made for an exciting movie, but an unrealistic depiction of a chemical weapon.

So let’s go through the video.

A few things pop out that make me question the video’s authenticity.

The First Problem.

This soldier in the graphic below is not wearing a helmet. There isn’t a soldier on the planet that would go into combat without a helmet.

The Second Problem.

This soldier is wearing an Order of Glory ribbon.

I did a video about this ribbon.

This is a very powerful symbol for the average Russian and it is featured prominently when the soldier falls. Every Russian kid growing up had a grandparent who was awarded an Order of Glory medal with this distinctive ribbon.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ribbon_of_Saint_George

This ribbon would be somewhat akin to an American Marine getting shot, his helmet falling off and the camera focusing on the picture of the girlfriend in his helmet.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/gthegent--108719778475992220/

It’s not impossible, but seeing a soldier with an Order of St. George ribbon become a casualty directly in front of the camera is the kind of image that pulls on the heartstrings of national patriotism.

The Third Problem.

Chemical agents aren’t like a sniper’s weapon. They aren’t selective in their targeting. It’s theoretically possible that an agent just splashed the man by the window, but then another soldier stands in the same place, and he’s not doing the kickin’ chicken.

The Fourth Problem.

Not one of these soldiers is carrying a gas mask / protective mask.

This is the biggest issue.

First, a bit of history on Chemical, Biological, Radiological and Nuclear (CBRN) troops.

Back in the 70’s/ 80’s /90’s chemical decontamination troops were known as NBC troops for “Nuclear, Biological, Chemical.”

Soldiers used to joke that NBC stood for “No Body Cares.” NBC training became a check-the box exercise that soldiers just had to do and nobody took seriously. Everybody knew that no nation would ever use chemical, much less nuclear weapons.

And then on August 2, 1990 Saddam Hussain invaded Kuwait.

Saddam Hussain not only possessed chemical weapons, he had used them against the civilian population of Halabja, a Kurdish town in northeastern Iraq.

https://medyanews.net/remembering-the-thousands-who-died-in-the-halabja-massacre/

Namely Sarin and Mustard gas delivered by MIG-23s.

Remembering the thousands who died in the Halabja Massacre – Medya News
https://medyanews.net/remembering-the-thousands-who-died-in-the-halabja-massacre/

As the US and Coalition forces suddenly started to take NBC training seriously again. There was a very real chance that Saddam Hussain could use chemical weapons.

And the Chemical Corps rose to the challenge and did their jobs.

After the Gulf War, NBC went back to being the MOS where careers went to die.

The 9/11 Terrorist attacks changed the way people viewed CBRN again.

Unforgettable 9/11 images

The main fear was that terrorist organizations could create “Dirty Bombs” - that is bombs that spread radiological material. NBC was suddenly relevant again, and by 2005, NBC was changed to CBRN to emphasize the new radiological threat of dirty bombs.

Today, CBRN is taken so seriously that the US National Guard maintains 57 Civil Support teams to assist local governments in the CBRN threat.

So what does all of this have to do with Russia?

Russia’s warfare doctrine stems from Soviet doctrine. This emphasizes fighting in a CBRN environment.

The original BMP-1 Infantry Fighting Vehicle came with firing ports for their rifles so that the crew could fight from the vehicle in a CBRN environment.

And one of the reasons that Russian tanks use autoloaders is because a human loader would get a small amount of radiation every time they opened the breech to feed another round into the gun.

http://www.steelbeasts.com/sbwiki/index.php/T-72M

So Russia knows CBRN. They can operate in a CBRN environment. They have professional, well-trained officers who know how to respond to the CBRN threat.

Russian Western Military District NBC Brigade troops undergoing training. (Russian MoD)
Russian Ministry of Defense

Russian Federation forces use the PKM-4 mask.

And this is a standard-issue piece of kit that soldiers know how to use.

So Russia intimately understands CBRN doctrine. They practice CBRN doctrine. They have officers who are well-trained in CBRN doctrine.

So if there is a chemical threat from Ukraine, where are the masks?

In The Lego Movie (2014), there is a character named “1980-Something Space Guy.”

Large, zoomable image of Lego Movie Benny 1980 Something Space Guy Minifigure. 1 of 3

And all this guy wants to do is build a spaceship.

He’s desperate to build a spaceship and when he finally does, he is overjoyed.

So what does this have to do with Ukraine and chemical weapons?

Nobody comes into work wanting to do a bad job. I guarantee you there are Russian Chemical Decontamination troops who would push each other out of the way if they thought that there was a chance to do their job for real.

Instead of SPACESHIP! SPACESHIP! SPACESHIP! It would be CBRN! CBRN! CBRN!

If there was even a mere hint of Ukraine using chemical weapons, Russian soldiers would be in a higher Mission Oriented Protective Posture or MOPP.

MOPP Gear
MOPP Postures - af.mil

In the US Army, soldiers typically operate in MOPP 0 - mask is carried and chemical protective equipment is nearby.

Increasing to MOPP 1 sees the addition of overgarments - it gets hotter, but you can still do your job and if you have to increase protective posture, all you have to do is add on shoes, a mask and gloves.

MOPP 2 adds protective footwear.

MOPP 3 adds the mask. This makes it much harder to communicate, but all you have to put on is your gloves to be fully protected.

MOPP 4 sees the addition of gloves. It is very hard to fight like this and one of the reasons an attacker might use a non-persistent agent against a defender. It forces the defender to fight in MOPP-4 and the attack coincides with the dilution of the agent. So the attacker does not need to wear protective gear.

Modern chemical warfare gear is surprisingly good. Chemical decontamination soldiers train periodically train with live nerve agents at the Chemical Defense Training Facility (CDTF) in Ft. Leonard Wood, MO.

Yes, these soldiers are in an actual chemical environment. https://www.dvidshub.net/image/6785998/cbirf-marines-and-sailors-train-cdtf

Chemical protective suits will protect you against a chemical threat. So if there is a threat, why isn’t Russia increasing their MOPP level or at least instructing their soldiers to carry their masks?

The answer is that Ukraine is not using chemical weapons. Russia knows this so they haven’t increased their troops protective posture, because they know that their is no CBRN threat.

So the next time a Russian sophist claims that chemical weapons are in use, ask them why Russian soldiers are not carrying masks.

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Ryan McBeth